It has been a trying year. Too many prominent members of the congregation have died with difficult circumstances surrounding their deaths. It is emotional fuel for continued conflict and hurt within the leadership. Too much personal anxiety around mental health issues in immediate family members, inheritance details, feelings of isolation, and decreasing hours of daylight has given birth to a silent litany of “I don’t care, I don’t care, I don’t care” as a way to cope.
I’ve been quilting, constantly, but not finishing a single project. I’ve started three major pieces in the last month, all with deadlines. I get almost finished, pull it down off the design board and start something else. I contemplate whether my inability to finish mirrors my inability to let grief go. Daily I begin by praying I will have enough emotional resources to get through today.
A couple of weeks ago the widow of one of the recently deceased members celebrated her 65th birthday. Attempted to celebrate. It has been very difficult for her. The first anniversaries after a loved one dies typically is, the first Thanksgiving, the first birthday, the wedding anniversary, the baptism of a grandchild. Christmas is going to be bleak. I managed to finish this quilt and gift it to her. I named it “Strength for Today, Hope for tomorrow.” A line from the powerful hymn Great is Thy Faithfulness. I pray it brings her comfort and some measure of peace.
Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth,
thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide,
strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!
Lamentations 3:22-24 The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. “The LORD is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him.”